www.touchkey.com/comedyit Blonde Lunch An Irishman, a Mexican, and a blonde construction worker are on scafolding on the twentieth floor having lunch. The Irishman opens his lunchbox and yells out "Corn beef and cabbage, If i have corn beef one more time, ill jump from this building." The Mexican opens his lunchbox and yells out "Burritos, If i get burritos one more time, ill jump too." The blonde opens his lunchbox and yells out "Bologna, If i get bologna one more time, ill jump too." The next day during lunch the Irishman opens his lunchbox, sees a corn beef sandwich and jumps. the Mexican opens his lunchbox, sees a burrito and jumps too. the blonde opens his lunchbox, sees a bologna sandwich and jumps too. At the funeral, the Irishmans wife was weeping and says "if only i'd known, i would have never made him a corn beef sandwich". The Mexicans wife also wept and says "i didnt know he hated burritos, i could have made him tacos or enchiladas". The blondes wife remained silent, everyone turned and stared at her. She replies "hey dont look at me, he makes his own lunch". Leo D Canadian Joke A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working. "Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!" She drives out, somewhat amazed and a little confused . She looked at the radio and said ... "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" Soon, she was speeding down the highway to the sounds of "On the road again". The lady was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it. Suddenly, at a traffic light, her light turned green and she pulled out. Off to her right, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a sports utility vehicle speeding toward her. She swerved and narrowly missed a head-on collision." "ASSHOLE," she muttered. And, from the radio ... "Ladies and gentlemen, The Prime Minister of Canada". Peter P In Heaven An old alley cat died and went to animal heaven. When it arrived, St. Francis, patron saint of animals, asked if it had any special requests. The cat said, "Yes, On earth I was an outside cat. I slept outside in the cold, on hard ground, in dark places and was hungry most of the time. I'd really like a warm, sunny room with a soft place to sleep." St. Francis said, " No problem" and it was done. Next to arrive was a family of mice. St. Francis asked them if they had any special requests. The father mouse said, "Heaven looks to be really big with long distances and we are very small. Could we have roller skates - maybe some of those new in-line kind?" "Sure" said St. Francis and it was done. The mice skated away in a single file. A couple of weeks later, St. Francis decided it was time to see how everyone was doing. So, he visited the cat first. "How are your accommodations?" he asked. The cat replied, "Very good, the room is very warm, sunny and bright and I have a great soft bed to sleep on. What I really appreciate most are those Meals On Wheels." Peter P Email your comedy to Comedy IT comedyit@touchkey.com

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